Copyright 2010 © Charles Ellik

Pulbished in High Desert Voices: The 2005 National Poetry Slam Anthology

Baby, I'm feeling really
I wanna stick my
in the nape of your neck!
Nibble on your
…take a nap.

I wanna fluff your pillows
turn down your sheets
take those fuzzy pink bunnies
from off of your feet!
How about a shot of
herbal tea?
Not that weak decaffinated sludge…
we're talking Sleepytime Tea… oh, yeah!

We'll start with the easy positions
everyone has heard of:, like:
The Hug, The Nuzzle, The Spoon.
and after a year or two
we'll be black belts of Snuggle-Fu
doing dangerous advanced moves, like:
Paddy Cake
Deep Meaningful Look
and …Mutual Mint Floss!
We'll have matching T-Shirts:
"I'm with cutie-pie!"
"I'm with snuggle-puss!"

When we go to the movies
we'll skip those ultra-violent flicks
filled with blood and guts and guns and bricks
bloody limbs and all the other clichés
Hollywood sells to little kids.
Instead, we'll go to mature late-night Drive-Ins
and watch movies with …Puppies
licking the faces of innocent children!
Sunshine and flowers and chirping birds!

Then we'll drive to Vista Point
where I'll whip out my …trusty flashlight
and read to you from
Where The Wild Things Are
while playing footsie beneath a blanket
in the back seat of your car!

And if we should, um,
you know, ah,
or something?
Don't worry! I'm not like the other guys!
I'm not afraid to be seen
riding a bicycle built for two with you!
I'm not even afraid
to be in the bathroom while you poop!
Yeah, I said it.
It takes a real lover
to accept another with all their flaws
To touch with the tenderness
of a Teddy Bear's paws.

So, angel, if you've grown bored of those
serial short-term relationships
of strangers who won't even kiss you on the lips
Come with me and take a walk on the Mild Side
Once there my love,
you will surely find
In this society where violence
is entertainment
and violent sex is hip?
There's nothing more kinky bizarre or absurd
than a loving long-term relationship!

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